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Wednesday February 25th 2004, 8:00 pm
Filed under: General
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(The following was written to clarify that what I termed as the ‘suicide mission’ was not actually a mission or anything intentional at all but rather what I found to be the culmination of the natural evolving process in Life where the self (ego) ultimately yields to the Self (universal Soul) )

I never intended to suggest that I, nor any of us, are witting participants in what I call a ‘suicide mission’. I don’t think we have any say in the matter. Life is simply an unfolding of what IS and when we come to the last crease, it becomes apparent that the last leg of the journey (spiritual path) entails that we let everything go. The reason I called it a suicide mission is because once you have surrendered everything, you look around and see that the very last thing you have to surrender is your self, the very person that appears to be doing the surrendering in the first place. So I didn’t mean to imply that ‘marc’ had chosen a suicide mission. I meant to imply that ‘marc’ realized that the final thing to surrender was ‘marc’ him self. The spiritual path itself is the suicide mission. There was a great interview in “What is Enlightenment” with Ken Wilber and George Feurstein where they point out how todays spirituality is geared more towards ‘self help’ whereas true spirituality is about ‘self-annihilation’.

Since my experience, I don’t really know what ‘annihilation’ means anymore. It’s all just words and ideas. A week after my Realization, I was responding to a post to someone and I was contemplating the answer when one thing led to another and I suddenly became aware that I had no identity. But it was actually even deeper than that because I realized that I never had an identity to begin with. Nothing was annihilated as nothing was ever there in the first place. What I recognized was that, what I had previously thought of, as an identity was merely a process of identifying. There was never a fixed object called ‘marc’. Instead, there is a process in Awareness called identifying and as long as that identifying takes place; an identity will appear to exist. When identifying stops, ‘marc’ stops and that is what I called death or Void or annihilation. To movement, stillness is death and vice versa. That is why movement cannot know stillness and vice versa.

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