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Human – Animal Hybrids
Wednesday February 01st 2006, 4:02 pm
Filed under: politics,science
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When I heard the president actually say ‘Human-Animal Hybrids’ in what has become the ‘Olympics’ of presidential speeches, I was left speechless myself. We are living in a time where Human-Animal hybrids are a factual reality – the technology and implementation exists. Personally, I would like to attach a certain elephant part to my body, but that’s a whole different post.

We not only have the ability to communicate with each other regardless of geographic location, but we are now able to manipulate our physical existence. Is this the next major wave of ‘human’ evolution? I was watching ‘Walking with the Caveman’, and they demonstrated that the ‘tribes’ that figured out how to get the bone marrow out of the bones of dead animals became the dominate tribe, since they now had access to almost unlimited protein. We, as humans, are slowly reaching the ‘outer limits’ of what we can do and change. We are slowly understanding the multi-dimensional physical existence that goes beyind any Euclidean limitations. Pay attention closely folks – this is a big friggin deal.

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i was particularly excited to find that I finally agree with our president on something…

Werewolves are bad. We dont want werewolves and should pass legislation to seriously ban werewolves and other human animal hybrids like chuds, birdmen, people like Kevin Costner in Water World where he had webbed toes and gills behind his ears. I am also against the blob, invasions of body snatching aliens, and space predators coming down to hunt humans for their skulls.

Thank god I have this president to focus on this stuff because if we had a more relaxed president, a milk toast president, we might have werewolves any day now.

while i do think we are on the edge of many scientific cliffs where we can be faced with our lack of wisdom and incredible progress in discovery come to fruition in disasters, I also feel like this is not dissimilar to talking about travel to mars. We have serious immediate problems at hand. Does anyone here notice the flames being fanned in Iran, in N. Korea? I mean today the words, “dont look and it wont hurt” actually popped into my head.

Ahhhhhh! Dont think about that. Think about the werewolves. I am safe from them. Safe, I am safe, I am safe. (rocking in the corner) I am safe…

Comment by andrei hedstrom 02.02.06 @ 11:33 pm

Ha ha ha ha! Funny funny Andrei. I tend to agree. It’s only a smokescreen to shift attention away from the more urgent matters (that should be) at hand. Ugh.

Comment by shelby 02.03.06 @ 4:46 pm

Tonights headline – how brad and jolene had a baby through artificial insemination of an alien teenage lovechild. Tom Cruise to be godfather.

Comment by Administrator 02.04.06 @ 1:06 am

I, for one, welcome our new werewolf overlords. I’d like to
remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful
in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar

Comment by hyperlexic 02.06.06 @ 3:13 pm

Wow, I am seriously grateful to you, Andrei, for explaining the dangers of human-animal hybridism. I thought it was something as innocuous as using catgut sutures in surgery, but no. Werewolves. We are into some serious shit here.

Comment by Sue 02.14.06 @ 1:19 pm

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